Posted by
Ikester on Saturday, September 26, 2009 2:39:29 PM
Written by a student of
> law. It is a must
> read!
>
> DIVORCE AGREEMENT
> THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY
> WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG
> PERSON!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE
> FOR HIM. OUTSTANDING! Dear American
> liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
> Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together
> since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest
> election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.
> I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake
> of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run
> its course. Our two ideological sides of America
> cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's
> just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up
> to irreconcilable differences and go our own
> way. Here is a model
> separation agreement:
>
> Our two groups can
> equitably divide up this country by landmass each taking a
> portion.
> That will be the
> difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a
> friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively
> easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide
> other assets since both sides have such distinct and
> disparate tastes.
>
> We don't like
> redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome
> to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and
> war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the
> military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie
> O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a
> bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of
> them). We'll keep the
> capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
> Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot
> Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
> We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood. You can make nice
> with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the
> right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can
> have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies
> or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide
> them security.
>
> We'll keep our
> Judeo-Christian values... You are welcome to Islam,
> Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have
> the U.N... But we will no longer be paying the bill.
>
> We'll keep the
> SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take
> every Volkswagon you can find. We'll keep The
> Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm
> sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like
> to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.
>
> We'll practice
> trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty
> your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll
> keep our history, our name and our flag. Would you agree to
> this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded
> liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree,
> just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll
> bet you which one of us will need whose help in 15
> years. Sincerely,
>
> John J.
> Wall Law Student and an
> American P.S. Also, please take
> Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with
> you.
>